Life Quest (and other stuff)

I had a little breakdown this morning. No massive drama or crawling into a corner rocking back and forth (I've been there, so it is a possible outcome). It was a simple, even silly situation that sent me into a momentary downward spiral. If you read my resolutions post of a couple of days ago, you may remember point 30: Buy a swimming costume without the "pant" part - nobody is fooled regarding my thigh size (by covering it up with stretch fabric). This seemed like a reasonable and easy spot to start and when I found myself in the shops yesterday, buying supplies to "captainize" a pony toy (that's what the other kid calls customise), I popped into MrP Sport and grabbed a cozzie. On sale it was too. This morning we went swimming. My little daughter went to get my swimming costume (she is very excited about the idea of me having a "proper" one) and handed it to me, waiting in anticipation for me to put it on. I stepped in and pulled up t...

What is 30 days of truth? Someone I need to let go... No one. Everyone that I know or interact with somehow belongs in my life. They all contribute to who I am, and who I am becoming. Would it make my life easier to remove some of them from the equation? Sure, but this is a life quest. Part of that quest is to grow as a person, and having to deal with a diverse brew of people helps that growth. Someone I wish I didn't know... Angry-Hulk-Suki. I can remain calm in most situations, but I do have a temper on me. And when I snap, I snap big. Not something I'm proud of. Which is why earlier this year I made the resolution to not get angry. And, although I don't have a perfect record since them, I have managed to keep my cool more often than I would have and I have been able to keep Angry-Hulk-Suki in check. And that is something I am proud of. 3 Things to be grateful for: 1. Knowing many people who enrich my life. 2. Keeping my cool. 3. Oranges. Totally l...

What is 30 days of truth? I do wonder from time to time what happened to a friend of old. Usually this happens when I am somehow reminded of a time in my life where they were present, or I might be reminded of an event in my life where they were involved. Maybe I'm in a video shop and I see a movie title which takes me momentarily back to the first time I saw the movie and the people I was with. Then I would wonder, "what ever did happen to so and so..." But for me, that is usually where it ends. I don't even look them up on Facebook. I don't know who Anneri is, but she left an impression. I guess she really does not want to be forgotten, or maybe someone is trying hard not to forget. Cause the truth is, with today's tech at our fingertips, the excuses for not keeping in contact are getting thin. If we are not speaking/emailing/following each over on Twitter then we probably don't make sense in each other's worlds anymore. And if we ...

The year so far: January:   Being happy – more happy than not. February:   Sexy sleep wear – Well, at least the sleepwear is sexy... March:   Read squash rules – Done and playing. April:   Donate clothes   –   Done. About time for some shopping so that I can donate current wardrobe ? May:   Plant flowers – Did it. But not really doing well with other plants. June:   Figuring out “What do I want?” – First list done; will revisit. July:   365 photos challenge:   Currently on day 129 August : keeping cool (or: don’t get angry)   –Could be doing worse. September : be nice   – not too bad. October : listen, really listen   – this is harder than you might think. Now for November. Since we are getting closer to the end of yet another year, I decided to go out with a bang. I spotted the   30 days of truth   some of my blog friends is/was doing and decided to give it a go. This is quite a list and some of the que...

I created this image about 3 years ago, but tonight it says all I have to say.

Nice!* I would like to think that I am a nice person. Yes, there are times that I am not moon beams and cheese curls, but in general I think I am nice. It seems however that being called nice has almost turned into an insult of late. In movies, the “nice” guy seldom gets the girl. “That’s nice” often is used as a sarcastic remark. “It’s nice” almost borders on meaning mediocre in day to day conversation. The truth – being nice is something great, something to aspire to. When did the world become all about standing ovations and gold medals? Why do we often feel there are no points for second best? And why do we believe that being nice is second rate? (I have a theory on why I sometimes fall into this trap, but I would like you to figure this out for yourself.) So let’s go back to basics, the dictionary. Here follows a few definitions of the word “nice:” pleasant or pleasing or agreeable in nature or appearance decent: socially or conventionally correct; refined or virtuous...

January:   Being happy – I am, you know. February:   Sexy sleep wear – Hubbie says the (very warm) teddy bear one is cute…Will get back on track. March:   Read squash rules – Done and playing again tomorrow morning. April:   Donate clothes - Done. Should probably sort the “maybes” now. May:   Plant flowers – Did it. AND the plant IS still alive. June:   Figuring out “What do I want?” – First list done; will revisit from time to time. July: 365 photos challenge: Still going strong August: keeping cool (or: don’t get angry) The truth is you already know this. My “ short version ” of the other day would have clued you in. But I do feel the need to expand a little. I’m sure by now you have simply written me off as a “crazy person” - aiming for the impossible. Maybe. But it’s not about never getting angry (although that would be nice). It’s more about dealing with feelings before they turn into anger. You see, I’m a “bottle-upper.” I keep calm for a lo...

I'm being tested... After typing a rather hefty post, my lovely browser decided to crash. I was not worried, because blogger claimed it did save the post. As Murphy would have it, the title and labels where intact, but the complete body: just gone. Add to this the fact that I usually type my blog posts in a word processor and then just paste when I upload, but (of course) today didn't, this would be the perfect time to grab the screen and plunge it through the nearest window. But, to quote Alanis Morissette, it is a little bit ironic (or maybe just coincidence?), because the missing post was about not getting angry. No way I can get angry now...

And it’s July (or almost not anymore), but that’s not the point. The point is my July resolution. But first: a quick overview of the year to date. January: Being happy – mostly I am, but I have been under some form of stress lately. You know: life. February: Sexy sleep wear – will need some more to get through the cold, but I’m doing my best. March: Read squash rules – read it, playing, needed to restring hubbie’s racket after Friday’s game. Woops. April: Donate clothes - Done. May: Plant flowers – did it. AND the plant seems to still be alive. June: Figuring out “What do I want?” – That deserved a post of its own . So July, another month, another resolution. The short version: Get creative. But, as “get creative” is a bit on the vague side and vague often leads to not bothering, I tried to turn it into a task. And this is what I figured: 365 days of photos. I can’t remember from where this concept first came to my attention. It might have bee...

My June resolution was to make an attempt at figuring out what I want. I didn’t think I’ll be able to get the answer in as short a time as a month, but it was about making a start. Taking the first step. What do I want?   I want to be happy... ·          Not fight ·          Let go ·          Be myself ·          Have confidence I want my family to be happy... ·          Spend time together, do things together ·          Listen and pay attention ·          Be supportive ·          Cook well I want to feel good about myself... ·          Take care of my appearance ·          Defin...

Update: January: Being happy – more happy than not (except yesterday, which was a sad day). February: Sexy sleep wear – got nice winter ones. March: Read squash rules – read it, been sick and not playing, will start next week again. April: Donate clothes - Done. May: Plant flowers - see pic below. (Was planted last day of May - still counts!) And so we get to June And yes, I realise that we have almost made it through this month of June, but the resolution is intact, because I have already started on it. So, you say, get to the point: what do you want for June? Well. That's exactly it. What do I want for June? What do I want for any month of the year? What do I want from life? What do I want? So I started looking at this question. And I'm even trying to answer it. And it's during the answering that I realised this is not something you complete in a month. But because of the potential scope, it is something we often side step. Ignore. Hide from. And 20 y...

Update: January: Being happy – had some less than shiny feelings lately. Getting better. February: Sexy sleep wear – mostly good, but need something nice for the colder nights. March: Read squash rules – did it, still confused, but still playing. April: Donate clothes to charity – did it with a photo finish on the last day of April, but it’s done. Now for May: Plant some flowers. Not making promises they’ll grow. If you know me, you will also know I have the absolute worst luck with growing plants. I have the extreme super power of black fingers. Plants come near me and simply give up as this is better than the death than awaits them if they actually let me try and take care of them. But it’s not all bad. We started a veggie garden a few months ago, and most of the plants are doing well. I only killed Fennel, Coriander, Tomatoes (but they had a very small chance of survival) and 2 of 8 Marigold plants (see, 6 are still doing well). But after having pizza topped with veggie...

Resolutions so far this year: January = being happy. This nearly derailed last night when my one year old got hold of my phone and somehow thought mommy would just love teeth marks over the touch screen. The worst of it, I can't be angry with the teething one year old, I have to be angry with myself for not putting the bloody phone out of reach. Deep breath. I'm back. Smile. Happy. February = sexy sleepwear. After painting the bedroom wall in my silk nighty and getting purple paint over it I'm not sure it quite counts as sexy, but at least there are no hello kitties in sight. March = read rules of squash. I came, I read, I'm more confused than ever. So we get to April and I feel in the giving mood. Therefore... April resolution = donate unused clothes to charity. Now before you start patting me on the back (but please get that itchy spot below the right shoulder blade while you are there), I actually have already cleared out my closet (apart from the skeleto...

Quick update: January resolution: being happy > going well February resolution: wear sexy sleepwear > started off well, but decided to opt for no-sleepwear in this heat. Now for March: Read the rules for squash. Hubbie and I started playing on and off towards the end of last year, and have now fallen into a regular pattern. I really enjoy it, and for the first time in a long time I don't even mind the fact that it is (dare I say it) exercise . But, even though I enjoy it and could be worse at it, I have never even bothered to read the rules. Hubbie has, and probably won't lie to me (I'm not sure how competitive he really is), but if you are gonna get up earlier in the morning to regularly take part in some form of sport, I think you should at the very least peruse the Wikipedia entry. So that's the plan. Wish me luck.

Okay, okay. So being happy is so far a resolution I seem to be able to mostly keep. But ya know, it's a pretty big resolution. So I decided to have a few smaller ones. One of them, more by necessity than exact choice, is to be better with plants. Hubbie and I planted the first crops of our new veg and herb garden (nope, not an euphemism), which means that if I would like to live the dream of eating a homemade pizza topped with homemade veggies and herbs, I better get all green fingery. Not something I am by birth. But that aside, my resolution for February is this: Sexy sleepwear. Stop looking so confused. Sexy sleepwear. I know that hubbie will love me always and always, purple nighty covered in teddy bears and all, but I want to feel sexier. Do you remember that scene in Memoirs of a Geisha where she made the chap fall off his bicycle with a single look? Now I'm not looking to make people fall off anything, but as cute as my teddy bears are, not very empowering...