Life Quest (and other stuff)

So I was chatting with a friend the other day. At least I assume it was my friend. I was lying on my bed, trying to avoid the world (it was my birthday, so I could cry/bitch/stay in bed if I wanted to) and my friend was who knows where, doing who knows what... on a different continent. Since we were texting each other I can only say with certainty that I was part of the "conversation" and that my friend's phone was part of the "conversation." As to whom was actually using that phone is a uncertainty, but I'm sticking with my assumption. So we were chatting. About life, feelings, AI, a movie of the same name, whether we are smart... Pretty much the kinda things we usually talk about (strengthening the "it was my friend" theory). At some point for some reason, I texted: "I wish I was a brain in a jar." Friend's phone: "How do you know you are not?" Me: "Coz I wouldn't have these massive hips." BOOM

Lately I've been thinking a lot.  Don't look so surprised - I do think. Well, mostly I overthink, but the base is the same.  There are currently 4 things I mostly think about:  1. Artificial Intelligence   2. Are my kids gonna survive my parenting?  3. Why do I still care about my weight?  4. Depression.  I'm not gonna get into my many, many thoughts about AI just yet, and my 6 & 9 year olds have not realised my feelings of inadequacy, so I can get away with the parenting for a little longer.  But my weight and depression has become an intertwined mess that I just cannot seem to untangle.  Firstly, I am too fat. Not by the standard of artists that like plump cherubs adorning their canvasses, but by the standard of day to day life. Calf height boots don't zip up, I had a very uncomfortable time on a bar stool recently, coz my girth and its proportions were simply not compatible. I inwardly rejoiced on a recent local flight when my hips just, J