Life Quest (and other stuff)

I had a little breakdown this morning. No massive drama or crawling into a corner rocking back and forth (I've been there, so it is a possible outcome). It was a simple, even silly situation that sent me into a momentary downward spiral. If you read my resolutions post of a couple of days ago, you may remember point 30: Buy a swimming costume without the "pant" part - nobody is fooled regarding my thigh size (by covering it up with stretch fabric). This seemed like a reasonable and easy spot to start and when I found myself in the shops yesterday, buying supplies to "captainize" a pony toy (that's what the other kid calls customise), I popped into MrP Sport and grabbed a cozzie. On sale it was too. This morning we went swimming. My little daughter went to get my swimming costume (she is very excited about the idea of me having a "proper" one) and handed it to me, waiting in anticipation for me to put it on. I stepped in and pulled up t

Okay, before we get into how unlikely it is that I will stick to these, here is my thought: If I don't try at all it is even more unlikely. So there. Having a conversation with a good friend the other day, I was reminded how insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things. Few of us will ever do anything that is remembered by anyone other than our inner circle when we move into whatever lies beyond this life. I could have taken it as "might as well go back to bed, none of what I do matter anyway," but instead I decided to  take it as "stop being so stupidly afraid of everything, my actions has little impact, so the fear, embarrassment, worry I feel about every decision and "thing" I do, has no place, coz other people very likely don't notice or don't care." That was a clumsy paragraph, but I get it. In a nutshell: barring causing deliberate pain/unhappiness to others, I am going to try to make choices that makes me happy. S