Day 11: Something people seem to compliment me the most on
What is 30 days of truth?
My looks.
Which happens to also be the one thing I find it hardest to accept a compliment for.
I often get told I look pretty, or even beautiful. I say a simple "thank you," but in my heart of hearts the insecure little girl that I often still am shouts, "Lair! I'm fat, I'm ugly, I don't stand up straight!" [At least I don't stand there pointing out my flaws for an hour and a half anymore. "Thank you" is a huge improvement. Look, I even fought the urge the put - like me - in brackets after the huge ;) ]
The truth, I am overweight, but it turns out that I never really was this hideous creature I took myself for, even clocking in at significantly higher than what I am now. At school I was convinced I was the fattest, so did I at college and later in the "corporate world."
Looking back I realise that my perception piled on quite a few kilograms.
But still, even "knowing" this intellectually, I still find it hard to take the compliment. I have started to realise that many people do actually have the ability to look past the fat and see a pretty face, my not quite dark, but not quite light, brown eyes, and a kinda pretty smile.
The strange thing is that other people's size does not bother me. As long as they are happy, I am happy. I see the person, not the packaging.
It's just when it comes to me where can't look past my pounds.
But I'm working on it.
3 Things to be grateful for:
1. Contour underwear.
2. Playing pretend games with the kid.
3. Spell check.
My looks.
Which happens to also be the one thing I find it hardest to accept a compliment for.
I often get told I look pretty, or even beautiful. I say a simple "thank you," but in my heart of hearts the insecure little girl that I often still am shouts, "Lair! I'm fat, I'm ugly, I don't stand up straight!" [At least I don't stand there pointing out my flaws for an hour and a half anymore. "Thank you" is a huge improvement. Look, I even fought the urge the put - like me - in brackets after the huge ;) ]
The truth, I am overweight, but it turns out that I never really was this hideous creature I took myself for, even clocking in at significantly higher than what I am now. At school I was convinced I was the fattest, so did I at college and later in the "corporate world."
Looking back I realise that my perception piled on quite a few kilograms.
But still, even "knowing" this intellectually, I still find it hard to take the compliment. I have started to realise that many people do actually have the ability to look past the fat and see a pretty face, my not quite dark, but not quite light, brown eyes, and a kinda pretty smile.
The strange thing is that other people's size does not bother me. As long as they are happy, I am happy. I see the person, not the packaging.
It's just when it comes to me where can't look past my pounds.
But I'm working on it.
3 Things to be grateful for:
1. Contour underwear.
2. Playing pretend games with the kid.
3. Spell check.
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