Life Quest (and other stuff)

As a copywriter I am expected to know what to say. To take the information behind a product or service and turn it into a message that is easily understandable, promotes, sells and often, is expected to be clever too. With enough insight into a product or service this can be accomplished. Yes, sometimes it can be difficult, harder work than one might think to get to text on the page, but (so far) it is always doable. It is not so easy when the words are my own. When the message is personal, my words are not only harder to find, but it is harder to let go. How do I know for sure that what I mean is what you will understand? How do I even know what I mean is what I understand? So I keep working at it, dissecting sentences in my mind, trying to find the words. The right words. Enough of that. It has been months since I blogged and even with some of that time spent trying to find the right words, I may just end up putting it off until I have no voice left. So I’m stepping away. Gettin...

I have been quiet here, I know. I am moving forward, one little step at a time. And I will get back to blogging and my life quest. Soon, I hope. In the past month, my miscarriage is what filled my head, and having a baby is still what I think about most at the moment. But I am looking forward to this new year, and hopefully new beginnings. So, happy new year, may it be miraculous.

I'm taking a bit of a break from 30 days of truth . I had a miscarriage this past Monday, so my mind is still mostly focused on that. I will get back to this life quest, but first I need to deal with death. I will however include 3 things to be grateful for: 1. An amazing husband. 2. Family, friends, my doctor and hospital staff for their incredible support. 3. And a beautiful, beautiful 2 year old boy.

What is 30 days of truth? My looks. Which happens to also be the one thing I find it hardest to accept a compliment for. I often get told I look pretty, or even beautiful. I say a simple "thank you," but in my heart of hearts the insecure little girl that I often still am shouts, "Lair! I'm fat, I'm ugly, I don't stand up straight!" [At least I don't stand there pointing out my flaws for an hour and a half anymore. "Thank you" is a huge improvement. Look, I even fought the urge the put - like me - in brackets after the huge ;) ] The truth, I am overweight, but it turns out that I never really was this hideous creature I took myself for, even clocking in at significantly higher than what I am now. At school I was convinced I was the fattest, so did I at college and later in the "corporate world."  Looking back I realise that my perception piled on quite a few kilograms. But still, even "knowing...

What is 30 days of truth? Someone I need to let go... No one. Everyone that I know or interact with somehow belongs in my life. They all contribute to who I am, and who I am becoming. Would it make my life easier to remove some of them from the equation? Sure, but this is a life quest. Part of that quest is to grow as a person, and having to deal with a diverse brew of people helps that growth. Someone I wish I didn't know... Angry-Hulk-Suki. I can remain calm in most situations, but I do have a temper on me. And when I snap, I snap big. Not something I'm proud of. Which is why earlier this year I made the resolution to not get angry. And, although I don't have a perfect record since them, I have managed to keep my cool more often than I would have and I have been able to keep Angry-Hulk-Suki in check. And that is something I am proud of. 3 Things to be grateful for: 1. Knowing many people who enrich my life. 2. Keeping my cool. 3. Oranges. Totally l...

What is 30 days of truth? I do wonder from time to time what happened to a friend of old. Usually this happens when I am somehow reminded of a time in my life where they were present, or I might be reminded of an event in my life where they were involved. Maybe I'm in a video shop and I see a movie title which takes me momentarily back to the first time I saw the movie and the people I was with. Then I would wonder, "what ever did happen to so and so..." But for me, that is usually where it ends. I don't even look them up on Facebook. I don't know who Anneri is, but she left an impression. I guess she really does not want to be forgotten, or maybe someone is trying hard not to forget. Cause the truth is, with today's tech at our fingertips, the excuses for not keeping in contact are getting thin. If we are not speaking/emailing/following each over on Twitter then we probably don't make sense in each other's worlds anymore. And if we ...

What is 30 days of truth? I am grateful to say that in my life there has only been one time were I felt a person really went out of their way to make me miserable. The scene: Girl meets boy, girl and boy likes each other, they date a while, girl ends the relationship, boy handles break-up with the opposite of finesse. For a couple of weeks I after my life was awful. I was taunted, sent threats and worse. He then did something really terrible and I guess he realised that the line to the dark side was well and truly crossed. I was left alone after that. This was many, many years ago. There was one other time where it is up for debate as to whether "hell" was what said party intended for me. But I'm not in the mood for debate. Then there have been moments when the actions of another made my life "hell" - or at least really bad. Usually though it was an unintentional side effect of a struggle they went through. And although not fun for me, eventually som...