Yup, I'm doing it... 2018 new years resolutions

Okay, before we get into how unlikely it is that I will stick to these, here is my thought: If I don't try at all it is even more unlikely. So there.

Having a conversation with a good friend the other day, I was reminded how insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things. Few of us will ever do anything that is remembered by anyone other than our inner circle when we move into whatever lies beyond this life.

I could have taken it as "might as well go back to bed, none of what I do matter anyway," but instead I decided to  take it as "stop being so stupidly afraid of everything, my actions has little impact, so the fear, embarrassment, worry I feel about every decision and "thing" I do, has no place, coz other people very likely don't notice or don't care."

That was a clumsy paragraph, but I get it.

In a nutshell: barring causing deliberate pain/unhappiness to others, I am going to try to make choices that makes me happy.

So here goes with the resolutions - it is not meant to be super coherent, more of a brain dump, it's not in any order of importance - and it is a very long list, so maybe get a drink... or 2.

1. Be less afraid of everything.  
2. Write more.
3. Read more.
4. Eat less things I don't like.
5. Lose weight.
6. Be reasonably fit.
7. Remind myself that what I think of myself trumps what others think.
8. Take less shit.
9. Stop blaming myself for stuff others do.
10. Get less angry.
11. When I get angry, aim the anger at the proper target.
12. Be honest.
13. Paint more.
14. Charge more for my services.
15. Play more Minecraft.
16. Tell my kids I love them more.
17. Say no.
18. Start my depression chronicles (post to follow).
19. Learn to spell "unnecessary" without relying on spellcheck.
20. Learn which of "tape measure" and "measuring tape" is which.
21. Practice guitar.
22. Learn to speak a decent amount of Xhosa.
23. Accept that most people do not get my sense of humour.
24. Spend more time with the people who do get my sense of humour.
25. Eat more steak.
26. Get over my telephone phobia.
27. Get rid of things I do not need.
28. Kiss my hubbie as if we are freaking teenagers.
29. Dress in black.
30. Buy a swimming costume without the "pant" part - nobody is fooled regarding my thigh size.
31. Write songs again.
32. Practice piano.
33. Be more assertive.
34. Make more money.
35. Sing more.
36. Avoid doing things I don't like.
37. When with friends, speak without thinking too much.
38. Stop overthinking.
39. Be kind to myself.
40. Shrug more. 
41. Avoid stewpit people. (More on stewpit vs stupid in future. Maybe.)
42. Have a birthday party.
43. When I spend money ask myself: does this bring me closer to my idea of a happy life?
44. Not feel guilty for saying "fuck" or "shit."
45. Have a massage or facial or something like that at least once a month.
46. Stop feeling bad for changing service providers when they have let me down or when someone offers me better services for the same or lower prices.
47.  Aim to be a bit better every time I do something.
48. Be silly when the mood strikes.
49. Care less about what other people think of me.
50. Be happy.

Now, please understand that this is not a complete list, but for the sake of everyone's sanity I am ending it here for today.

Any of these speak to you? Comment below on what life you would like to live in 2018.