Life Quest (and other stuff)

I had a little breakdown this morning. No massive drama or crawling into a corner rocking back and forth (I've been there, so it is a possible outcome). It was a simple, even silly situation that sent me into a momentary downward spiral. If you read my resolutions post of a couple of days ago, you may remember point 30: Buy a swimming costume without the "pant" part - nobody is fooled regarding my thigh size (by covering it up with stretch fabric). This seemed like a reasonable and easy spot to start and when I found myself in the shops yesterday, buying supplies to "captainize" a pony toy (that's what the other kid calls customise), I popped into MrP Sport and grabbed a cozzie. On sale it was too. This morning we went swimming. My little daughter went to get my swimming costume (she is very excited about the idea of me having a "proper" one) and handed it to me, waiting in anticipation for me to put it on. I stepped in and pulled up t...

So, time for another self portrait. This time a cell portrait. Arm stretched out, using the fact that my phone is reflective on the back to align the shot, making hubbie sit still in the background for a bit more interest and hoping I don't shake too much when I let go of the shutter button. Then into Snapseed, where I threw in fake fades and fake grunge and fake light leaks, and now I'm in the blogger app where I am writing this post. Told you it's a cell phony kind of day.

Ever felt like screaming? This week I tried to catch that on camera. Glad to say that this is not at all how I feel, just seemed like a fun self portrait. Although, I have felt this way at some time in my past. Probably will again in future. In the meantime, a pic... Hush One exposure only. 28.0 mm;   20.0 sec;   f/18;   ISO 200;   Manual;   Compulsory flash firing. White balance and noise reduction in Camera Raw, colour mask added in PhotoShop. Original jpg from Raw file, cropped only, no additional editing. Took me a couple (25 to be exact) of tries to hold the one side pose, quickly move to the other side and hold and then hold still in the middle. But I'm quite happy with the result. Not 100% what I had in my mind, but this kinda thing can suck me in and 400 photos later I am still not at 100%. So I stopped. Before I needed to scream ;) What is this 52 week project about?

I think I might be a little naive. Of course I am aware that in many aspects of life I am blissfully ignorant, which is why I may never be "successful". To quote Mark Twain: "To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence." I know I do not always have the confidence required, and by knowing I lack ignorance. I just can't win. But back to the point. I think I might be a little naive. You see, I know about the violence and crime in South Africa, but have been able to focus on the beauty and potential. I know that not everyone is good, but I also know that not everyone is bad, and I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. But while planting some flowers this afternoon, I had one of our neighbours stop by for a chat. Most of the chat was about burglaries, car theft, abductions and rape, the first two recently happening in our street. My street. My beautiful South African street. Shattered. I know of the dark side. I just wish i...

Today is one of those days. So rather than rant on about how stupid people can be, how I hate to be made out the bad guy, and how sometimes I wish I had the power to put everything around me in suspended animation and just SCREAM, I am just gonna stop.