Life Quest (and other stuff)

So, time for another self portrait. This time a cell portrait. Arm stretched out, using the fact that my phone is reflective on the back to align the shot, making hubbie sit still in the background for a bit more interest and hoping I don't shake too much when I let go of the shutter button. Then into Snapseed, where I threw in fake fades and fake grunge and fake light leaks, and now I'm in the blogger app where I am writing this post. Told you it's a cell phony kind of day.

Ever felt like screaming? This week I tried to catch that on camera. Glad to say that this is not at all how I feel, just seemed like a fun self portrait. Although, I have felt this way at some time in my past. Probably will again in future. In the meantime, a pic... Hush One exposure only. 28.0 mm;   20.0 sec;   f/18;   ISO 200;   Manual;   Compulsory flash firing. White balance and noise reduction in Camera Raw, colour mask added in PhotoShop. Original jpg from Raw file, cropped only, no additional editing. Took me a couple (25 to be exact) of tries to hold the one side pose, quickly move to the other side and hold and then hold still in the middle. But I'm quite happy with the result. Not 100% what I had in my mind, but this kinda thing can suck me in and 400 photos later I am still not at 100%. So I stopped. Before I needed to scream ;) What is this 52 week project about?

And it's week 2. (Actually I'm gonna shoot two photos close together so that I match up with the week numbers of the year. Easier in the long run me thinks...) Tuesday night I spent setting up and snapping, and only got round to the final touches tonight. Here I am: the second self portrait in my little quest. The light is only from white LED "Christmas-light" flowers, shot just before 2 am in an otherwise dark room. 35mm, 1/4 sec, f5.0, ISO 100 Converted to black and white and basic editing in Camera Raw/Photoshop. I call it: Stop to smell the electric flowers. Stop to smell the electric flowers What is the 52 week project about?

So it’s 2013. Some people may attempt hiding under the covers for the complete duration – it ends on a 13, you know – while others are celebrating the prime-ness of it all. Whether you have great new resolutions or recycling old ones, or perhaps steered clear of any formal resolutions at all, with a new year, inevitably, come new things. And this is true for me too. By choice, I might add. I have enjoyed taking photographs from my first little (toy) camera when I was barely a person, anxiously waiting to see if my coveted roll of 24 (couple of months of pocket money it was) yielded any successful results. As a teen I received a “proper” point and shoot from my youngest brother as a birthday gift, and as a student, my eldest brother allowed me to tediously pay off my first (his old) slr, when he upgraded. Then the digital era arrived. Back to point and shoot, then a bit more functions and eventually, I think it was 2006, my first digital slr. Gone was the worry...

So, I go to this coffee shop. With me, my mom-in-law, my four year old son and my 11ish month daughter. We peruse the cake fridge as well as a counter filled with cake stands. On the stands you can find bran muffins, scones and some cup cakes, all covered with glass domes. My mom-in-law selects carrot cake, I pick scones to be shared with my daughter and my boy points to a cup cake. I order from the waitress: carrot cake, scones and a cup cake, please. "Sorry, the cup cakes are only for display." Ummmm, right.

So, almost 2 years ago now (how time flies), I started a 365photos project. The plan, to take a photo a day, for a year. (365 days in a year - get it? Okay, so this year it would be 366, go figure.) Anyway, about half way through my little project, I hit a wobbly. After my miscarriage I slowly lost interest in most hobbies etc, and eventually just stopped. Can't say I'm proud of that time, but life is life, and I'm still on this little quest after all. I even took a job I normally would not consider: Fitness coach. I know, I know, as far from designer as you can get, but this was great for me at the time. It forced me to be with people - and forget about my own troubles a bit, focussing on others. It brought me through some dark days, and I am grateful for that. I fell pregnant again, and am happy to have a little girl to show for it. I'm back to design, and mostly back to being myself (although too many days still caught in "not bothering with make up" ...

Sometimes we have a choice. And sometimes making that choice will have no real ill effects. Choices like: what we're having for supper. Whether I'm watching an episode of Grey's or House. (Actually that's easy: both.) But then there are the choices that have no ill effects, but feels like there is only one answer. It feels like you could get it wrong. Once such choice: what christening dress should my daughter wear? In the one corner - the dress that have been passed from baby to baby, the dress that has seen many christenings, a long special heritage. In the other corner - a dress that have only seen one christening - mine. Both have meaning, both are beautiful. There is no one right answer here, so it's obvious, you say, pick the one you like best. Well you see, we like them both. A lot. We even dressed our little girl in both to see what looks best. And (no surprises here), she looks beautiful in both. So I guess we'll sleep on it. And tomorro...